Most of us want a happy marriage, but often don’t know what we are missing. It seems as if other people have something inherent that we don’t, so we often think there is something wrong with us.
There is nothing wrong with us.
We just need to be more intentional about implementing healthy disciplines and habits that make a marriage happy.
Wouldn’t it be so fulfilling to have a marriage that was not only safe and secure but life-giving?
Here’s one thing we can do. Follow Jesus’ commands and teachings.
Jesus once said, “You’re far happier giving than getting.” Some of us roll our eyes and grumble, “Jesus, you obviously do not know my spouse. It’s not life-giving to give to my partner. They simply take advantage of it.” (The reasons can pile on; they don’t deserve it, I’m tired of giving, they don’t even recognize when I do give to them. And on goes the list of reasons for our lack of giving to our partner.)
The question we have to ask ourselves is not, “what’s the key to a happy marriage?” We know that already, He told us! The question we have to ask ourselves is this, “what is keeping me from obeying? Why can’t I find joy in giving to my spouse often, consistently, habitually?”
The key is to determine in your heart what you’d like to give with no expectations attached to it. Remember, giving is not really giving if it’s really a set up to receive.
God’s Word teaches us how to give in order to live happily. “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (See, 2 Corinthians 9: 7 NIV)
Here’s the order:
A heartfelt, love-inspired, decision.
We must decide what we want to give, how we want to give it, and do it cheerfully without making it a ploy to get something in return. We simply give because our husbands/wives are worth blessing and benefiting.
Dr. Jung, in her book, “The Lost Discipline of Conversation”, says it like this, “God does not put two people together for the benefit of one.” Therefore, focus this week on how you can benefit and bless your husband/wife.
So, here’s what I want you to try this week with/for your spouse;
Believe Jesus’ Words - Jesus said it’s far happier to give than to receive, believe it enough to try it over and over again. If you don’t believe Him, ask the Holy Spirit for help to see and be convinced that Jesus’ ways is far better than the world’s way of living.
Dream and Decide what You’d Like to Give - Take your time to be by yourself, in prayerful and loving posture before God. Pray and ask God’s help to think of ways to bless and benefit your spouse this week. Then write it down.
What do you want to give this person? Kind words, warm touch, listening ear, rest, fun, presents? What kind of gifts would make you happy in giving to your spouse?
Plan and Execute - put it in the calendar when and how you’ll give to your spouse. Your preparation will be felt in the delivery and execution.
Enjoy the smile you’ve put on your spouse this week.
Repeat next week.
Have a great week guys!
Here’s to a “happy” marriage in Christ,