Using God

I remember as a young man having recently given my heart to Christ I was given a platform to preach God’s Word and give my testimony early. Perhaps too early. Filled with anxiety and fear, I still accepted the invitation to share. I felt that I should, I mean how could I not share what God has done for me? So I “preached”, more like “shared” my testimonies and thoughts on God. 

I noticed however that the closer I was with God, the more I felt intimate with him, the more “anointing” or the more “anointed” I felt as a “preacher” of the Word. People would cry, teens would repent (I think that was what they were doing), and often many would manifest physically as they responded to the Word and the Spirit. I was pumped, I was motivated. I had found my “calling”. This was all to pleasing and delightful. I loved how people responded, I loved the applause. Soon I found myself seeking God all the more. Fasting, praying, writing out all the red words in the New Testament on index cards so as to memorize them. I was a pursuer of God. So I thought. One day as I was going about praying and seeking God again, I felt his small still voice saying to me, “Do not use me. Do not use our intimacy for ministry.” It wasn’t condemning but I felt the fear of God rushing through my bones. I knew exactly what he was saying. 

Imagine being intimate with your spouse only for the purpose of exploiting the children you both will bear. Imagine being intimate with your spouse only for the purpose of getting access to more of his/her wealth in order to spend it on yourself? Imagine if your spouse found out this was why you were being intimate with him/her? Sh*t. 

Often we use God. And we often whore ourselves. 

In using my intimacy for greater anointing I used God and the Church. I used the Church by seeking to extract a sense of Purpose and Identity. I used the Church to feel good about myself. I used the Church to establish my Calling. 

Often we use the Church. And we often whore ourselves. 

Thus began a new journey to protect my relationship with God. To not use God or this relationship. I started the long journey of earning respect rather than using my “gifts” and “charisma” to give me roles, titles, platform. Of course this goes without saying, but all my platforms I enjoyed have all been initially granted by God, my mentors, leaders, and God’s gracious believers who gave me a chance to exercise my gifts. However, by respect I mean, a life that is working on being formed into the image of Christ despite any public notice of it or the chance to be affirmed of my gifts and calling by the Church. It is the quiet life that I was invited into. 

What happens when your intimacy is protected? What happens when God and the Church are not exploited by our insecurities? 

We will shepherd and tend (serve) to the flock’s needs rather than use the sheep for our needs. 

We will not mind the lack of attention or applause as long as the sheep fold is well taken care of. 

Competition and envy disappear. 

We will be able to truly serve one another. 

We will become fathers/mothers instead of hired hands. 

We will care, we will give a damn about the Church and it’s people. 

We will seek to walk alongside people instead of trying to fix people. 

The quiet life is the long road of friendship with God. May you enter in… and enjoy God. 

Please watch this video, it will do you some good. Especially if you’re a young minister or worship leader. Trust me.