Tough Questions

Some thoughts on love and relationships as I reflect and pray for those seeking love and relationships.

Aloneness /
Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. There is a season for everything and if you’re single take advantage of this time, embrace it instead of trying to run from it.

Question to Ask Yourself /
What am I suppose to do in this season while still alone?

Love, Like, and Lists /
I personally don’t agree with the whole “What I Want in My Guy/Girl Prayer List”. I think it should be called, a Lust List. Here’s why. If God answers your list you will get everything you’ve wished for thereby making the relationship solely based on your likes. However, Love is often experienced where dislikes abound. Actually, I would make the case that Love is best experienced when dislikes, discomfort, sacrifice, are present.

Anyone can “love” when things go there way, meet their needs, align with their desires.

Love is a commitment to the person, Like is a commitment to yourself. Love covers “sins” or mistakes, dislikes, annoyances. “Like” has no room for error, mistakes, disagreements.

We all wish to be loved, however we often give only “like”.

I wonder how many of us would think about writing a list for own selves to be a good partner for someone else. Instead of writing a list about a person, why not write all the things we wish to improve or prepare in ourselves for the benefit and the pleasure of the other.

For instance, instead of writing, “God I want an ambitious man.” We write, “I’ll seek to grow in passion and vision in all the things God has already shown me to do.” Instead of writing, “I want a wealthy man or woman” we may write, “I’ll get rid of all my debt so that when I meet my partner we can start life fresh and new…”

How about we do for others, or our significant other, what we wish for ourselves.
{I’m not saying you shouldn’t have desires or wants. But scripture is very clear when it says that God knows what you want even before you ask for it. Actually, it says that he desires to give above and beyond your wildest imaginations. He likes to surprise and bless beyond measure. Do you trust him with your desires and wants?}

Question to Ask Yourself /
Would you date someone like you? Do you have qualities you seek in others? How can you grow and prepare to be a blessing to someone?

The Tough Question /
People ask, “do you think I’m ready to date?” or “do you think I’m ready to marry?”…
I often reply with a question right back,

"Would you let your daughter/son date someone like you?"

Think about it. Imagine if you had a grown daughter or son and they brought home someone like you. Would you be happy for your grown child? Did he/she make a good decision? {If you can’t say a confident “yes” and you find yourself building a case for yourself… well you should be working on yourself right now then. Every area you find yourself excusing is the very area in need of work.}

What advice would you give your kid about someone like you?!

I think that’s enough to chew on for now. On this Valentine’s Day, I urge you to Ask yourself some real questions.

Love you!

/ bryan
Someday, I’ll write a little more on “Healthy Dating Practices”.